It’s been a busy day. This is my fourth post and I’ve also had a trip to Edinburgh where I bought a Carcharodontosaurus saharicus tooth (below). It made me realise though that these things deserve to be extinct because they flout god’s laws of nature. They ate meat when they should have been vegetarian (Gen 1:29-30). 
So, I’ve compiled a list of animals that are in danger of god’s judgement.
Wanted for breach Leviticus 19:9: the wearing of clothes made of more than one fabric.
Yes, not only is this hermit crab wearing a shell of aragonite, but it is also covered in anemones and sponges. It truly is an abomination to the lord as it also has no fins or scales (Leviticus 11:9-12).
Also breaching Lev 11:9-12 (These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.”
That’s right, these baleen mouthed bastards eat krill wholesale. Japan is god’s judgement on them.
This evil little fish called the Amazon molly laughs at the lords interspecies sex laws of Leviticus 18:23. ("Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.")
This species is all female and reproduces only through mating with males of another species.
Wanted for being a drunkard – the pen tailed shrew.
If the good lord wanted this little sinner to drink the equivalent of 9 glasses of wine a night, hang about outside chip shops, and bullying fruitbats, he would not have given us Romans 13:13.
I particularly look forward to the day the lord punishes these:
Lesbian bonobos are an abomination! Look at them, they will do anything to anything. Lord, show your deep compassionate love and drown the planet again!
Or could it just possibly be that ” because it is against nature” is not a justification for something to be wrong?
So, I’ve compiled a list of animals that are in danger of god’s judgement.
Wanted for breach Leviticus 19:9: the wearing of clothes made of more than one fabric.
Yes, not only is this hermit crab wearing a shell of aragonite, but it is also covered in anemones and sponges. It truly is an abomination to the lord as it also has no fins or scales (Leviticus 11:9-12).
Also breaching Lev 11:9-12 (These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat. And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you: They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination. Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.”
That’s right, these baleen mouthed bastards eat krill wholesale. Japan is god’s judgement on them.
This evil little fish called the Amazon molly laughs at the lords interspecies sex laws of Leviticus 18:23. ("Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.")
This species is all female and reproduces only through mating with males of another species.
Wanted for being a drunkard – the pen tailed shrew.
If the good lord wanted this little sinner to drink the equivalent of 9 glasses of wine a night, hang about outside chip shops, and bullying fruitbats, he would not have given us Romans 13:13.
I particularly look forward to the day the lord punishes these:
Lesbian bonobos are an abomination! Look at them, they will do anything to anything. Lord, show your deep compassionate love and drown the planet again!
Or could it just possibly be that ” because it is against nature” is not a justification for something to be wrong?
4 comments:
Well, this is why man isn't an animal - we have these great laws from God to help us.
Good post though - made me laugh and I learnt something about fish.
This species is all female and reproduces only through mating with males of another species
But how does that work? Won't the offspring be of a different species or something?
Lee
But how does that work? Won't the offspring be of a different species or something?
No, the sperm only kick starts the developmental process. It makes no genetic contribution.
There are actually several "species" that do this. It is thought they are the result of hybrids from closely related species
Excellent post, Billy!
No, the sperm only kick starts the developmental process. It makes no genetic contribution.
Interesting... I wonder why they need the sperm at all then?
Lee
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